Stream of consciousness

There are Feelings, which I can never put words together properly to describe. Leading to uneasiness and being trapped without an outlet. I tried, but no words came out. What appeared between the typing and my lips were mere meaningless jumble of symbols, convoluted and contradicting thoughts. What seemed like a torrent of emotions and ideas came out as a few lines of underdramatic whimper. I fear all my attempts at capturing my life's essence will be futile, of course, I always knew that would be the case, language was never my thing, but I still loved it in my own clumsy way.

I wish I have a better memory to keep things in my mind. Not just the knowledge of the occurrence of the events, but also keep those feelings without them fading away. Fading away is like dying to me. Feeling is living right?

Don't listen to me whine

I sense a pattern from these recent insomnia, and they are getting disturbingly more frequent.

=== Beginning of System Memory Dump 256KB ===

Tvir zr fbzrbar jvgu nofbyhgr fuvggl obevat yvsr fb V pna srry orggre nobhg zlfrys, fbzrbar jvgubhg ubcr naq qribvq bs wbl va yvsr. Ohg gura ybbxvat ng zl bja yvsr, vg'f abg nyy gung onq, va snpg vg'f orra cerggl riragshy, creuncf abg gur orfg, ohg jbegul bs n srj tevaf. Gura ubj pbzr V pna'g frrz gb erzrzore, eryngr gb gubfr guvatf? V fhfcrpg vg'f orpnhfr V srry V'ir orra rzbgvbanyyl vfbyngrq. V jnag fbzrbar gb funer gurfr wbl naq fbeebj, V jnag gb or rzbgvbanyyl vagvzngr. Gur snpg vf, zbfg thlf qba'g unir "pybfr fhccbeg sevraqf" yvxr tveyf qb.

Ohg V unir gb or fgebat, orpnhfr V cebzvfrq V jvyy ybir zlfrys orsber nalbar ybir zr.

Please remember all these stuff is especially corny for a slightly conservative Asian guy.
I hope this herbal sleeping pill has finally taken effect.
Good night.

=== End of System Memory Dump ===