zig zag zree

I feel exhausted after the eventful weekend. Tired, but also strangely motivated. Perhaps with the physical fatigue I'm suffering, gone is the mental stress.

Random quote of the weekend:

Kat: So why do you think gays are less appealing in public perception than lesbians?
Brand: It's simple, just think about the Christians and the lions in Roman time. People want to see lions eating Christian, even more so when Christians cannibalise fellow Christians!
Brand: What's the fun of watching lions eating lions?
Kat: Disturbing as that sounds, you are actually making a lot of sense!

lost in the woods

My holiday's going to be over soon. It's depressing that I will be going back to the cycle of work and sustaining my vital functions. I don't like the feeling of being restricted in a cage when the world itself is enormous. I want to be free.

Stream of consciousness

There are Feelings, which I can never put words together properly to describe. Leading to uneasiness and being trapped without an outlet. I tried, but no words came out. What appeared between the typing and my lips were mere meaningless jumble of symbols, convoluted and contradicting thoughts. What seemed like a torrent of emotions and ideas came out as a few lines of underdramatic whimper. I fear all my attempts at capturing my life's essence will be futile, of course, I always knew that would be the case, language was never my thing, but I still loved it in my own clumsy way.

I wish I have a better memory to keep things in my mind. Not just the knowledge of the occurrence of the events, but also keep those feelings without them fading away. Fading away is like dying to me. Feeling is living right?

1:15am

For these two years, I did not gain anything extraordinary, but I've learnt to deal with myself as a normal, flawed person.

ClearThought

Recently I have got back into the habit of reading, ever since I accquired some books off trademe. In the course of reading those fine novels and non-fictions, I came to the realisation that I have been neglecting to polish my writing skill for too long. Oh yeah, of course, certain person, going by the moniker similar to a female periodical condition might have also triggered the panic with her impressive outburst of online babbling, but let's not go into that before we lose our/my focus.

I have this terrible habit of jumping around subjects, flying from one topic to another, in a conversation, or in writing. This is especially prominent when I'm tired and had one cup coffee too much. I am trying to figure a way out of this manic state, or at least control it.

here, another 20 minutes gone.

Working...

But I just want to sit here
and
         pop

   my        bubble
        wraps

*pop*

Don't listen to me whine

I sense a pattern from these recent insomnia, and they are getting disturbingly more frequent.

=== Beginning of System Memory Dump 256KB ===

Tvir zr fbzrbar jvgu nofbyhgr fuvggl obevat yvsr fb V pna srry orggre nobhg zlfrys, fbzrbar jvgubhg ubcr naq qribvq bs wbl va yvsr. Ohg gura ybbxvat ng zl bja yvsr, vg'f abg nyy gung onq, va snpg vg'f orra cerggl riragshy, creuncf abg gur orfg, ohg jbegul bs n srj tevaf. Gura ubj pbzr V pna'g frrz gb erzrzore, eryngr gb gubfr guvatf? V fhfcrpg vg'f orpnhfr V srry V'ir orra rzbgvbanyyl vfbyngrq. V jnag fbzrbar gb funer gurfr wbl naq fbeebj, V jnag gb or rzbgvbanyyl vagvzngr. Gur snpg vf, zbfg thlf qba'g unir "pybfr fhccbeg sevraqf" yvxr tveyf qb.

Ohg V unir gb or fgebat, orpnhfr V cebzvfrq V jvyy ybir zlfrys orsber nalbar ybir zr.

Please remember all these stuff is especially corny for a slightly conservative Asian guy.
I hope this herbal sleeping pill has finally taken effect.
Good night.

=== End of System Memory Dump ===